The saying - you get what you give - is becoming clearer and clearer. Those around you that don’t understand or support you will eventually fall out of your life. However, if you don’t stand up for what you believe in and protect yourself, who will? You may even be your own worst enemy. You may wonder why there are toxic people or situations in your life. It’s been my experience that how I speak to myself and how I treat others are both directly responsible for all of the experiences in my life as well as the kinds of people I surround myself with. If you don’t like your current reality all you have to do is change how you speak to yourself inside your head and treat everyone you encounter the way you wish to be treated. Then just watch and enjoy the changes.
A test of the heart, that’s what we’re enduring. From pain we open up new space and make room for love and understanding to pour in and mold us. It’s ok to disagree and it’s ok to take a side, just as long as no one that is trying to help the greater good of mankind is left out of the equation and that encompasses all skin colors, sexual preferences, and job professions. Remember, all generalizations are false and typically if we are quick to point the finger then we probably don’t know everything that we should. <3
On April 7th Marie Kondo launched her new book “Joy at Work”. Now that the majority of us are working from home, you may be feeling a bit anxious and uneasy.
In addition to a variety of other issues, this could also be because you have too many things in your living space that are bidding for your attention. One way to alleviate this is to create a space you desire to be in and you do this by tidying up.
If the thought of organizing your living space feels too overwhelming, simply start with the clothing category and see if anything shifts inside of you.
If it does, and you feel better, I urge you to keep tidying until you’ve completed your tidying festival. Then, put on your seat belt, and watch the course of your life take off like a rocket into places unknown.
This photo is brought to you by my sweet mom on her walk today in Moon Valley, AZ.
It reminds me that we truly must yearn and fight for our freedom to be who we are and to love who and what we want to love. There are no borders or boundaries to loving yourself and we must be pioneers and be willing to take on the most difficult journey by confronting and transcending all of our weaknesses and exposing all of the shadows. By taking each corner and painting a heart on each rock that we stub our toes on and by filling each pot hole with our loving trust and faith, we will make it to the top arriving at the perfect time to meet our highest self.
Today was a really difficult day for me. I couldn’t get out of bed until after 3 PM. I listened to a friend remind me that it was me that asked to be made strong and for all of my heartaches to be healed. By making that request I have to expect there to be resistance and I can’t pick and choose how I want things to go. Just like a boxer, when he enters the ring, can’t ask his opponent to follow a set of pre-planned steps in the hopes of avoiding pain and bloodshed. No, he has to be spontaneous and quick on his feet and dodge each punch as it comes. Not knowing what technique his opponent will use to try to defeat him, but trusting he is prepared to fight, and that his desire to win is stronger.
I’ve been reflecting on this recent experience and never to my knowledge has the world been on the same page. We are staying home to keep others safe and in the meanwhile we are trying to find a new sense of normal. I have to trust there is a higher purpose for all of it.
Our minds are so conditioned to going to work, visiting with friends, taking the kids to school, getting gas, going to Target to buy that thing we need, always going outside to find its nourishment. Now we are being coaxed to go inside and listen to a voice that maybe has never been listened to before.
I must admit it has been uncomfortable to not be able to visit with family like I once did, and go to the grocery store on a daily basis, and see my clients and earn an income, but I also must admit that in these last few weeks my inner voice and desire for inner contentment is taking over. Looking inside for answers when normally I would look outward has me feeling more love and gratitude for all things inner and outer. It seems we are being divinely set up to love ourselves and others in a way never before experienced.
The outside world has proven to be noisy and at times unreliable where my inside world is showing me that it holds the key to a level of consciousness that isn’t available anywhere else. A level of consciousness that is above the outside world. It’s all I have, what’s inside of me, and I want it to be strong and content in knowing all is perfect no matter what is going on outside of me.
I liken it to a wandering soul that has been yearning to find the very thing that makes it yearn in the first place. Like a man who has been wandering in the desert for days in search of water and when he happens upon a well, he is able to rest and contemplate his journey and ultimately realizes the well has been there all along, loving him, awaiting his arrival.
Whatever happens as a result of this “stay at home order”, if it lasts for months, I’m taking this opportunity to dig deeper and to listen to the voice that is calling me to permanently be inside. 💛
I was reading an email I received from Love and Logic which is a parenting resource that sends messages regularly to help deal with the many challenges that parenting presents. Today’s email was about creating a regimented schedule for your kids while they are doing distance learning. It dawned on me that we as adults also need a regimented schedule so we can maintain our own level of normalcy.
It’s so easy to feel lost and overwhelmed since we now find ourselves out of our normal routines. For myself, not serving my purpose of tidying with clients has been a bit depressing. One thing I have found particularly helpful during this time is creating new routines to keep me focused and on track (and basically to keep me from feeling anxious or worried.) This also works wonderfully for children if you are struggling to keep them off of electronics and to feel more in control of the situation.
Scheduling meal times, outdoor exercise, board games, clean-up time, and anything that keeps you all excited about your new sense of normal will make this experience far more memorable than you realize. Don’t underestimate the power of a bathroom schedule if there are many of you in the home. Some can shower at night and some in the morning and post the schedule on the bathroom door if necessary. If you are single, or at home with a partner with no children, it’s just as beneficial to schedule meal times, exercise, and alone time.
Writing down your goal for the day can really motivate you to keep from feeling isolated. If you’re having trouble thinking of things to do, if you aren’t working, this is a perfect time to start your tidying festival. It’s also important to do exercise while we are at home even if that means walking up and down the stairs several times a day. You can hold yourself accountable by setting a reminder on your phone every 2-3 hours to get up and do some physical movement for 10-15 mins. Make sure to drink lots of water and especially remember to stretch your body if you are working on a laptop for the majority of your day.
And now for the PM ritual...
Turning off electronics and having a family meeting every evening will also keep everyone feeling that their needs are important. Take this time to plan for the following day what activities you can do outside/inside i.e. play in the yard, walk the dog, and maybe pick up trash in your neighborhood. Make sure to wear a plastic bag over your hands if you don’t have gloves and also make sure to thoroughly wash hands when you get home. An evening ritual can also consist of reading/telling stories, brushing and flossing teeth together, and discussing dreams and goals for the long term. It’s vital to keep things picked up so no one feels crowded by others’ clutter, so take 15 minutes and pick up everything you took out and put it away. Delegating household tasks to each family member on top of keeping their own personal objects and room tidy is essential to making this successful. Creating a chore chart or sharing a virtual to-do list via Google Keep or like apps really helps to keep everyone on the same page.
What I’ve also discovered is that after I’ve mastered my routine I’ve found myself wanting more. It’s caused me to go deeper inside of myself to re-discover my passion for painting and writing. I urge anyone that is wanting to find a deeper meaning to their lives to dig deep and truly get to the heart of your matter and see if there is more to you than you’ve been aware. You can make this as simple as blending two of your favorite teas together to get a new flavor! It might sound silly but when we are stuck in our regular routine a new shift in consciousness can get the creative juices flowing.
We are existing in our own new sense of normal, at least for now. Our relationships may become more difficult when faced with situations and personalities we aren’t used to being around for so many hours in the day. This is why scheduling our time is so important and don’t think that if you live alone that it won’t affect you. Keeping yourself disciplined and your mind sharp will allow you to succeed during this time of isolation it will also help to keep your relationships in tact while in such close quarters. Let’s make the most of our situation by creating new memories with our families and by also developing a new personal relationship with ourselves. This can be the most memorable experience of our lives if we allow for such optimism to culminate.
I ask myself this question a lot. Sometimes I lay on the floor and stare out of the skylights and watch the birds chase each other while the clouds float by. I do this because I can get caught up in the chaos of life, especially when things get too busy or in this case, too slow. It’s a way to clear my head and push the reset button. Is there anyone out there asking themselves this very same question? Do any of you need to push the reset button and evaluate if your life is truly headed in the direction you’re wanting?
I help people on a regular basis and they mostly are in the same boat. They’ve found themselves surrounded by clutter and it’s taken the loss of a loved one, an illness, or a life-altering event to get them to see it and want to change it. Let’s face it, life is hard and when we have too much to manage on top of life’s difficulties it can make us want to quit or give up. In the last 3 years my life has taken a few unexpected twists and turns and I’ve had to overcome some pretty heavy experiences. Yes, I can smile and be very personable and help people when they need it most but when it comes to my own self care I don’t make it a priority. Lately I’ve felt really lost as if I don’t know who I am. I don’t know if that’s typical for women in their mid 40’s but it’s happening to me right now and it feels very isolating and scary.
I have a 13 year old son who is getting ready to start high school. Most days he’s irritated with me for asking him to help out around the house or he is impatient when I say anything to him at all. I have a spouse who is perfect and has the patience and demeanor of a saint. I have 2 dogs that look at me constantly as if to say, “Hey, mom, are you going to take us on a walk today?” When I’m helping people I feel like I’m in the zone and when I’m not I feel like something is missing. My estimation is that I’m distracted when I’m helping others and when I’m not then I get to be with myself and sometimes there is an uncomfortableness.
During this time of retreat and reflection I’ve decided to do some serious soul searching to evaluate what it is I truly want for my life. I’ve considered going back to school because I only have 9 classes to graduate. I’ve considered trying a different field of work all together. I’ve considered selling my house and moving to a state that is far less expensive. I’ve considered so many things. At this place in time I can’t run from myself. I have to face the music and look at my surroundings. Social media, reading, cleaning and planning outdoor activities only lasts for so long and what I’ve found to truly quell my heart and mind is cleaning and organizing. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Well aren’t you already organized?”
We remodeled our entire home over the last summer and we are still trying to put things back together. So, No, I’m not currently totally organized and the process to getting things into their new places and finding a new rhythm is just that, a process. Since we are home ridden I’ve decided to pull everything out and start over. Drywall dust is still a dilemma in certain spots and last week I finally ordered toilet paper holders for both bathrooms. My filing system needs an overhaul so that will be the next section I will tackle. Cleaning out the fridge and wiping things down is actually my favorite so I may do that at some point too. You may be reading this and think I’m crazy and it may seem like a daunting task but it truly works. When you take your attention and position it in the present moment for example, while cleaning and organizing, it calms the mind and everything else inside and out seems to calm down with it.
If you don’t like the KonMari Method then start in the area that is used the most like the kitchen. With all of the extra food we have in our pantries and cupboards this will feel amazing! Turn on your favorite music and start by emptying all the drawers and gather like items together. My recommendation would be to empty the entire kitchen all at once and categorize every single kitchen item, but if you can’t, then start with your drawers or pantry. As you empty the entire kitchen, wipe down all the doors and shelves including inside the fridge, before putting things back. With food pantry storage I keep categories together i.e. all breakfast items on one shelf and all snack items together etc.
When you’re finished, you might get what I call the tidying virus and you may then find yourself tidying every square inch of your home. I don’t know if what I’m doing is the right thing. All I have is my intuition and my intuition tells me we will make it through this trying time which I believe is just an opportunity to discover more about ourselves and to become more resilient. For myself, what I truly want is unconditional contentment. I want nothing outside of me to take away or to affect my contentedness and I want to be able to be in constant gratitude for everything that life hands me. So, if you find yourself getting anxious or worried take out the junk drawer and start sorting, breathe, and focus on everything you are grateful for. Thanks for reading and please share your stories if you feel moved to do so.
I was driving to a KonMari presentation that I was giving at a local library and on my way the GPS took me down a side street. As I was driving I noticed there was no one on the road at 8:30 AM. All of a sudden I found myself in front of this beautiful sunrise in Castle Pines, CO. When people say words cannot express the thing the are trying to express I understood what that meant in this moment. The photo doesn’t capture the magic of what I was looking at and I wish there was a way for you to push a button so you could feel exactly what I was feeling. The only word I can come up with that best describes what I was feeling is love. I sat by the side of this abandoned frontage road and wondered if the highway traffic to the right of me could see what I was seeing. What isn’t in the photo is the land spreading for miles and miles all around and the vastness of the clouds and suns rays mixed together. I could barely take it all in because there was so much to look at. I felt like I was standing in front of a painting. My mind felt at peace and it made me remember why I love nature so much. It also reminded me that I haven’t been out in nature in a very long time, too long.
My family and I just went through an entire home remodel and needless to say it was very difficult. We had very bad contractors which we had to fire and I then became the GC. Let’s just say I won’t be taking on any home remodeling projects anytime soon. Our home for the most part turned out the way we had envisioned but there are several areas that will just have to be sub par because we can’t afford to fix them. When I’m in the kitchen cooking or when I’m in the living room with my family watching a movie or when I’m at the dining table writing a blog and now all of those rooms are joined into one big room, I remember that growing pains are painful and I’m glad we took the leap. We now have a master suite and a bathroom with a separate soaking tub. I have an office with a skylight and several skylights in the main room and master bath (my favorite part are the skylights). We added a bedroom where the attached garage used to be and the new two-car garage is in the backyard. We have a mud room, a couple barn doors and hardwood floors throughout. In the backyard we now have a fire pit and all new concrete. The front yard is a work in progress but for now we have a brand new front door and black wrought iron railing.
It still feels like it isn’t my house yet but we’ve been hanging artwork and adding our personal touches all throughout. I hired a Feng Shui consultant to help us greet our new home and position the furniture for the best flow of chi. I’m now having fun with my home and putting things away in their new spots feels really good. I hope by this time next year we will be completely healed of all the bumps and bruises and getting ready for Spring to see all the new flowers we will plant this coming year. I chose the blog title because while I was standing in front of this serene setting it reminded me that I hadn’t taken a pause to enjoy the little things in a very long time. I had been so wrapped up in the remodel and the chaos of 2019 that I had let myself neglect what I truly cherish which is being in the present moment.
Marie Kondo has a wonderful blog and there is one post in particular, "Finding Joy Within", I would like to share with you. She recently spoke with an award-winning clinical therapist and interpersonal architect Dr. Judith Coché. Dr. Coché says the most intimate relationship you can have with anyone in the world is the one you have with yourself. She also says that if there is an area in your life you don’t want to look at then that means you can absolutely deny it no longer. In fact, she says to put it under a microscope until you’ve cozied up to it and adjusted whatever needs adjusting. Basically make friends with your flaws or emotional pain. Also, speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a friend in need is the way we must speak to ourselves and this is vital.
For myself, tidying has allowed me to live a more fluid and fruitful life. When I was younger the vision for myself was very unclear. I loved art and languages and honestly interior design was my favorite thing. At times I would stay up all night thinking about how to redesign my room with furniture placement and paint colors. Tidying my room would give me a shiny new car feeling on the inside combined with insurmountable amounts of love for the hard work I had done. However, as my high school education was coming to an end I was told I should pursue business or something along those lines because it was a safer path. As you can see, my path was clear to me but I didn’t listen to my inner guide back then.
As I gained more wisdom in my later twenties, by removing physical clutter, I gained the insight as to what I wanted my life to look like. I struggled in college and couldn’t commit to a path towards earning my degree. The harder I tried the harder it became to complete school assignments and go to class. I decided something was trying to get my attention and put that goal on hold. When I did, I realized the goal to graduate college was never mine in the first place. It became clear that I was meant to start my own path and create a business that focused on helping people. I attribute the cultivation of this clarity to the removal of the things in my life that didn’t serve a purpose. In addition to college, I also discarded a car payment I didn’t want and a job I felt no longer fit with me. It may seem a bit reckless or irresponsible but I was desperate to feel an internal sense of peace and find my inner compass.
It’s rather funny that by becoming a college drop-out I made room for the life I wanted to manifest. My tidying business literally took off over night after I took the leap of faith to find what had been trying to find me all along. I liken it to a garden or a piece of earth that is covered in weeds and dirt with no defined boundaries or attractiveness. Once the unwanted organic material is removed, the vision for the space becomes clear and it even beckons one to then create something based on one’s inner desire. This is why tidying and caring for your home can be so powerful. By removing physical clutter, or what I like to call external noise, you can start to hear the voice of your inner guide as well.
By no means am I suggesting that anyone drop out of college or quit anything that you are currently doing. For me, this was what I needed to make my heart happy. To this day that inner guide speaks very loudly and very clearly because I’ve practiced listening and trusting its wisdom. I urge my clients to see their home and life this way and once they’ve begun to tidy, their lives take off like a rocket ship into places they never dreamed were possible. One client found her dream home soon after we tidied together, another lost a lot of weight and made adjustments to her home so that she could have a roommate and earn extra income, and several clients have reported just feeling good and are full of more energy and mental clarity in their living space after our tidying sessions.
Reflecting on all the work I’ve done with myself and my clients I’ve realized there’s nothing outside of me that can give me what I truly need on the inside. Adding too many material items to my living space, which includes when the fridge is too full or my car needs a good cleanup, actually makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious and most of my clients report feeling the same way. There’s something to be said for packing light and I urge you to try it for yourself.
Thanks for reading and to read the entire blog post by Dr. Coché you can go here.
photo credit: canva.com
I’ve worked with several clients this year and they’ve all said how grateful they are for the new found energy they’re experiencing as a result of our time tidying together. This is a great sign that speaks to how sensitive we are to the things we keep around us. One woman in her 70’s said she’s actually feeling a new sense of inspiration and is enjoying having guests stay at her home for long visits and is proud to show off her living space. She has the energy to entertain and when a guest needs something she knows exactly where to tell them to find it. Can you imagine that? Having energy to entertain guests and knowing exactly where all of your belongings are?
For me, as a KonMari consultant, this is the goal I have for all of my clients. No, not for your home to be perfectly tidy all the time, and No, not for you to live a minimalist lifestyle either, but for you to have more energy and inspiration to live life!! One of my clients is a school teacher and she avoided being in her office because of all the clutter. Just recently she reported that she now enjoys being in her office and working there. Every single visit since we finished the clothing category she thanks me for my help because she is astonished at how much energy she’s feeling after our sessions. That's it! That’s what the life-changing magic is all about. It’s about finding yourself, the beautiful, bright and shiny you that’s been buried underneath all of that clutter for so long.
Looking back on 2019 it’s surprising that I survived. We went through an entire home remodel and let’s just say I have to start all over with finding places to store my things. For a person that thrives in a tidy living space and having everything still in boxes, it’s been quite difficult to say the least. My hubby and I needed a break from the house project so we went to see "Knives Out" at the movies the other night. If you haven’t seen it, the main character Marta is not favored by all the other characters in the story but still manages to find goodness in her heart and always does the right thing. I’ve chosen to see my situation just as Marta’s. I can only control my reaction to my life and everything in it and it’s a lot more fun to be happy and joyful. My home will be tidy again soon enough and there is no use in being stressed out about it.
Some recommendations for the new year is Karen Kingston’s not-so-new book “Clearing Clutter with Feng Shui” on Audible. I recommend sitting down and taking notes while she, in her British accent, orates this wonderful book about how clutter can truly affect every part of your life for the good and the bad. My second recommendation is to read the magazine "Magnolia” December ‘19 issue, in particular A Note From Jo on Resolve. I had my family read this out loud during Christmas dinner and let’s just say it wasn’t only a tear-jerker but an uplifting life and goal changer. Joanna, if you ever read this, we are all looking up more often now because of your eloquently written letter.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year and to 2020 not just being for our hindsight!